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Mark Twain Quotes


Mark Twain
  • Mini Bio
  • Name: Samuel Langhorne Clemens
  • Born: 30th November 1835, Florida, Missouri, U.S.
  • Died: 21st April 1910, Redding, Connecticut, U.S.
  • Resting place: Woodlawn Cemetery, Elmira, New York, U.S.
  • Occupation: Author, publisher and lecturer
  • Notable works: Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
  • Pen name: Mark Twain
  • Height: 5' 8½" (1.74 m)
  • Cosmic inspiration: He was born just after Halley's Comet made its closest pass to the earth in 1935 and he predicted correctly that with Halley's Comet returning to earth in 1910 that he would die in its slipstream. One day after the comet's passing he suffered a cardiac arrest and died just as he had foretold
  • Trade mark: He liked to wear a white suit and cut a dashing figure with his white hair and moustache
  • Trivia: After failed investments he filed for bankruptcy in 1894 and despite being in a position to not pay his creditors he made the decision to work hard and pay every last creditor and so his mind was also debt free
  • Scroll down for full bio and many great quotes

"Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason"

Mark Twain

"If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it"

Mark Twain

"Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool"

Mark Twain

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see"

Mark Twain

"A pessimist is a well-informed optimist"

Mark Twain

"If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed"

Mark Twain

"The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog"

Mark Twain

"Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest"

Mark Twain

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why"

Mark Twain

"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience"

Mark Twain

"Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them"

Mark Twain

"If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear"

Mark Twain

"It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right"

Mark Twain

"An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it"

Mark Twain

"Mr. Roosevelt is all that a president ought not to be - he covers the entire ground"

Mark Twain

"Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life"

Mark Twain

"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened"

Mark Twain

"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus"

Mark Twain

"If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it"

Mark Twain

"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything"

Mark Twain

"Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe"

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain Biography

Mark Twain was the literary genius whose artistry was the subtle satire that he nonchalantly intertwined with the characters he created using his native Missouri as his rock of inspiration. His two most famous works: Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer propelled him to a celebrated author status that sees him still sitting aloft on the throne of American literature.

Mark Twain was a self educated man who was put to work as a typesetter at the age of 12 after the premature death of his father. An avid reader, he visited libraries in his spare time as he devoured information to satisfy his thirst for knowledge.

In 1857 he embarked on a training schedule to be a steam boat pilot on the Mississippi River and after two years training he got his pilots licence. He worked as a steam boat pilot until the outbreak of the American civil war in 1861 stopped all commercial sailings on the river.



Twain had a brief stint donning the grey uniform of a confederate soldier until he realised he did not share his southern comrades passion for defending slavery so he left fo find fortune out west. After he failed as a miner he discovered he was far more successful with the pen than the pick and so began his writing career in various newspapers before he finally put pen to manuscript on his pièce de résistance about Messrs Finn and Sawyer.

He was the publisher of the acclaimed memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant in a deal he struck to financially help the former head of state who hit on hard times and was suffering from cancer.

When Mark Twain was in town on the lecture circuit it was a spectacle to behold with his quick witted satirical humour he was a turn of the century equivalent of a stand up comic cum life analyst whose speeches created interest and mirth wherever he roamed.

When humour has meaning it becomes the sharpest tool in your armoury and Twain was armed to the teeth with quick witted quips and imaginative puns that I have summarised into 21 of the best Mark Twain quotes

Quotes About Mark Twain

The celebrated author George Bernard Shaw was impressed to say: "I am persuaded that the future historian of America will find your works as indispensable to him as a French historian finds the political tracts of Voltaire"

Ernest Hemingway gave high praise indeed when he said: "All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. But it's the best book we've had. All American writing comes from that. There was nothing before. There has been nothing as good since"


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